Choose your own Peptalk! 11/18/09 Peptalk by MattKinsi

Warning!!!

Do not read this peptalk straight through from beginning to end!  These words contain many different adventures you can have as you try to unravel the mystery of the strange world in which you have arrived.  Your choices will determine whether or not you succeed in solving the mystery.

Yes.  This is a choose-your-own-adventure-peptalk 😀

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Welcome to the magical bamboo forest of Piedmont Park.  You see a welcome sign that reads, “Welcome to the Magical Bamboo Forest of Piedmont Park.  In order to begin your journey, you must do the following:
1)  Sign on into nanowrimo.org
2) Click “my NaNoWriMo”
3) Click “Novel Info”
4) Copy and paste your entire novel into the Word Count Validtor.  And click “Submit.”
4a) If you are handwriting your novel, pick two pages at random.  Find the average number of words on those two pages, and then multiply by the number of pages you have.  Type that in.

Look at your word count.  Does this make you cry or cheer?
If cry, go [Page B].  If cheer, go to [Page G]

[Page A]
You go up and hug the crying panda bear.  It sniffles loudly, and says the only thing that will make him happy is a 15 minute war.  You feel badly, don’t you?  You want to make the crying little panda happy, don’t you?!?  Then, you take him up on the 15 minute word war.  Reply back when you get your total.  GO!  [THE END]

[Page B]
Eep!  I didn’t want to make you cry.  Uhh…sorry?
Is your wordcount lower than your age?  If so, go to [Page L]
If your wordcount is just lower than you hoped, but larger than your age, go to [Page H]

[Page C]
You stroll on down the path of Victory.  You have hit your 50k, and wait, there’s a fork in the road.
The arrow to the left says, “Your story is finished.”
The arrow to the right says, “Your story is not finished yet.”
If you take the left path, head over to [Page X]
If you take the right path, head over to [Page O]

[Page D]
The giant panda is giant!  What were you thinking?!?  He has giant legs.  You didn’t have a shot in heck to escape.  The panda catches up with you and shakes his head in disappointment.  All he wanted was a friend.  So much for that.
Do you Plead for Mercy?  Plead your way to [Page R}
If you decide to submit to its authority, wonder on over to [Page V]

[Page E]
Smart move.  The panda sits you down,
“It’s ok that you aren’t on track for the 50k right now.  I still love you, but you know what, it’s not completely undoable!  I’ll give you two options here, and this time you get to look at the choices before decided.  If you want to go with option A, it’s a 15 minute word war and you send the results in right now.  Option B is a goal to get 5,000 words written this Saturday.  And I expect regular updates till then.  Option C is to go both.  Pick one of the three, and reply back saying option you’re choosing.  Either way, PandaLanta still loves you.  THE END.

[Page F]
Eek!  Your evil glare warns off the giant lumbering panda that was, well, lumbering towards you.  It cowers in the corner and starts crying.
If you think, “GOOD!”, walk on over to [Page U]
If you think, “Awww.” head on over to [Page A]

[Page G]
Woohoo!  I am right there cheering with you.  ::High 5::
Have you hit at least 50k?  Head on over to [Page C]
Are you on track to hit your goal?  Skip on down to [Page M]

[Page H]
You wonder around the bamboo forest of Piedmont Park, lost in a forest of ideas.  You see a cute little panda ahead.  What do you do?
If you stop and ask for directions, go to [Page E]
If you ATTACK!  Run wildly to [Page Y]

[Page I]
“That’s awesome!”  You look around in surprise at the sudden voice, and you see a panda bear wearing a tag that says “Pandalanta – guide.”  “Lets say you have no words right now.  You need to crank out 4500 a day.  Yes, that’s a big amount, but you can do it!  Pandalanta Swears.”
If you reply, “I’m there,” go to [Page Z]
If you reply, “No Way!” go to [Page U]

[Page J]
Smart move.  You don’t ever want to see an angry plot bunny.  The bunny hands you a laptop, and asks you to get started on your second novel of November.  He’s here to help you along the way, giving you ideas along the way.  THE END.

[Page K]
The plot bunny turns you into a plot bunny zombie.  He directs you to check out http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/node/3263716 and use some of the sources there to add in a new subplot.  Because that’s what plot bunnies do. They help your plot.  The plot bunny in your brain tells you to pick a subplot, and work it in to your Novel.  Right now.  THE END.

[Page L]
eep!  ok.  it’s still doable.  I promise.
If your first thought was “I hate you,” then go to [Page F]
If your goal is still 50k, head on over to [Page I]

[Page M]
You see a giant stuffed panda lumbering towards you!  Oh no!  What do you do?
If you run, go to [Page D]
If you search madly for an electrical outlet to capture the moment on word, go to [Page R]

[Page N]
Ok, you win!  The bunny submits.  He congratulates you on hitting the 50k milestone and for finishing your story!  YAY!  He decided to let you pet him, as long as you’re gentle.  THE END.

[Page O]
Wait a minute.  Why are you reading this then?  Don’t you know how long this email has taken to read?!?
If your answer is “Cause you emailed it to me?” head on over to [Page P]
If your answer is “Cause my wrists hurt!” limp on over to [Page W]

[Page P]
Ok, my bad.  Keep on writing and stop reading!  Right now!  THE END.

[Page Q]
“Well, ok,” says the Panda, “I’ll save you only if you promise to write me at least 1,000 words today.”  The bunnies hop menacingly towards you, and you tearfully agree to abide by the panda’s wishes.  Write at least 1,000 today.  You can do it! THE END.

[Page R]
Smart move!!  The panda gives you a big hug and congratulates you for making the right decision.  The Panda plops down right down next to you, and encourages you to write as much as you can in the next twenty-three minutes, which is his favorite number.  He cuddles up next to you, and watches over your shoulder protectively against any sort of distractions, so you can write in peace.  THE END.

[Page T]
Sadly, the plot bunny is stronger than you.  I mean, are really sure you want to fight this?
Do you finally submit to its authority?  Head to [Page J]
If you graph the conveniently placed bazooka, Fire your way to [Page N]

[Page U]
Ok.  I’ll tell you a secret.  It’s not 50k or bust.  If you can get 25k written, get that 25k written.  If you can get 3k written, that’s 3k more than you ever did before.  It’s ok.  We of course would love for you to hit the goal, but we are so impressed with anyone who even attempts this endeavor.  Just try for the rest of this month to write a little, or a lot, each and every day.  And we’ll be there to celebrate with you at the end.  THE END.

[Page V]
The panda continues to scold you for running and points out to you, in no uncertain terms, that you need to do a 15-minute word war.  Right now.  Or he’s going to call his PandaLanta friends for backup.  He directs you to reply to this peptalk with your 15-minute war total.  THE END.

[Page W]
Suddenly, a light appears in front of you in the middle of the bamboo forest of Piedmont Park.  It’s…it’s a bottle of icy hot that just appeared out of nowhere.  You squirt some on your wrists, and it feels icy.  But soon it starts to feel hot.  And you pull out your laptop and start a 10-minute word spring!  WRITE!  THE END.

[Page X]
OH MY GOD IT’S A GIANT PLOT BUNNY!  AHH!  Oh No!  Do you fight it?
You gather up your sword and attempt to fight, fight your way to [Page T].
If you decide not to fight it, beg your way to [Page J]

[Page Y]
The Panda looks at you like you really ought to reconsider this choice, and he pulls out his whip made of an extension cord.  You head on over to attack anyways, but millions of little plot bunnies appear out of nowhere.  You scream as they attack, and you succumb to it.
Do the bunnies hop up your nose and attack your brain?  If so, head on to [Page K]
If you ask the Panda to rescue you, head on over to [Page Q]

[Page Z]
Woot!  You made PandaLanta happy!  He challenges you to a 15 minute word war to get you started.  THE END.

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